Introduction
In today’s world, comparisons are everywhere. Whether it’s scrolling through social media, seeing someone excel at work, or watching a celebrity’s success, it’s easy to fall into the trap of measuring yourself against others. I recently experienced this firsthand at a Taylor Swift concert in Vancouver. Taylor and I are the same age, and I consider myself to be in good shape. Yet, while I struggled to stand for the entirety of her three-hour performance, she sang and danced her heart out the entire time.
This moment was a powerful reminder that we all have different paths, strengths, and journeys. Comparing ourselves to others often overlooks the unique challenges and circumstances each of us faces. Instead, the only comparison that truly matters is the one we make with ourselves—striving to be better today than we were yesterday.
Why Do We Compare Ourselves to Others?
Comparison is a natural part of human psychology, rooted in social comparison theory. This theory suggests that we evaluate ourselves by comparing to others to understand our abilities and status.
In the age of social media, this instinct has been amplified. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok showcase the best parts of people’s lives—vacations, milestones, and achievements—while struggles remain hidden. This creates an unrealistic benchmark that’s impossible to match. We see the highlight reel, not the behind-the-scenes reality.
The Hidden Struggles Behind Success
It’s easy to see someone’s success and assume their life is perfect, but the truth is, everyone has battles we don’t see. Taylor Swift, for instance, may perform for hours with boundless energy, but we don’t see the years of training, discipline, and the physical toll it takes on her.
This principle applies to everyone. Your coworker who always seems ahead may be dealing with personal struggles you’re unaware of. Understanding that everyone’s journey includes challenges helps us stop idealizing others and start focusing on our own growth.
The Harmful Effects of Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparisons often do more harm than good. Here’s why:
- Mental Health Impacts: Constantly feeling inferior can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and even depression.
- Physical Health Impacts: The stress of not measuring up can manifest physically, affecting sleep, digestion, and overall well-being.
- Relationship Strain: Comparing yourself to friends or loved ones can foster jealousy, resentment, and tension, eroding relationships.
Why You Should Only Compare Yourself to Yourself
When you focus on comparing yourself to your past self, the pressure to “measure up” disappears. Instead, you can celebrate progress and small victories.
- Fitness Example: Instead of fixating on how fit someone else is, celebrate running a longer distance than you did last week.
- Work Example: Completing more tasks today than yesterday is a sign of growth.
- Personal Growth: Learning something new, even a small skill, is progress worth recognizing.
By focusing on your journey, you’ll feel empowered rather than discouraged.
A Practical Guide to Critically Viewing Social Media
Social media is a powerful tool, but it can also fuel unhealthy comparisons. Here’s how to maintain a healthy perspective:
- Recognize the Highlights Reel
Remember, social media often shows only the best moments of someone’s life. You’re comparing your whole story to their edited snapshots. - Curate Your Feed
Follow accounts that inspire and uplift you. Unfollow or mute those that make you feel inadequate. - Limit Screen Time
Set daily boundaries for social media use to avoid constant exposure to comparison triggers. - Take Breaks
Disconnect from social media periodically to reconnect with your reality and reflect on your own journey.
How to Build a “Run Your Own Race” Mindset
Instead of focusing on others, prioritize your personal growth:
- Set Personal Goals
Define what success looks like for you—not based on others, but on your aspirations. - Celebrate Small Wins
Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small. It’s the foundation for larger achievements. - Practice Gratitude
Reflect on what you’ve accomplished and what you’re grateful for, fostering a positive mindset.
Read more about Why Small Obtainable Goals Matter: Steps to Big Success
Key Takeaways
- Comparing yourself to others is natural but often harmful.
- Social media amplifies comparison but doesn’t show the full picture.
- Focus on your own progress—small wins lead to big growth.
- Critically view social media and curate a healthier relationship with it.
Conclusion
We’re all on unique journeys, and comparing ourselves to others only distracts us from our personal growth. Whether it’s a celebrity on stage or a friend’s highlight reel, remember that their path is not yours—and that’s okay. Focus on doing better today than you did yesterday. That’s the only race worth running.
What’s one area of your life where you’ve grown recently? Share your progress in the comments—I’d love to hear your story!