Finding Peace in What You Can and Can’t Control
Have you ever heard the Serenity Prayer? I stumbled on it years ago during a tough time in my life, and it’s stuck with me ever since. Back then, I was trying to control everything—work stress, family dynamics, even the weather (not kidding). I was burnt out, anxious, and frustrated that no matter how hard I tried, things still didn’t go as planned.
Then I read this:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
Whether you’re spiritual or not, the Serenity Prayer is one of those mindset tools that grounds you fast. It reminds us that not everything is ours to fix—but some things are. And knowing which is which? That’s where peace lives.
Where the Serenity Prayer Comes From
The Serenity Prayer was written by American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in the 1930s. While its origins are rooted in Christianity, the message is universal. It became well-known when Alcoholics Anonymous adopted it as a guiding principle for recovery—and it has since touched millions of lives around the world.
Why does it still matter today? Because in a world where we’re constantly bombarded by things we can’t control—news, other people, the past—it gives us a powerful mindset shift: focus on what is within your power.
The Three Pillars of the Serenity Prayer
1. Accepting the Things You Cannot Change
This one is hard—especially for people like me who want to fix everything. But accepting doesn’t mean giving up. It means releasing your grip on things that aren’t yours to carry.
You can’t control how others act, what happened yesterday, or how fast time moves. Trying to control the uncontrollable leads to burnout and resentment.
Instead, try this: When something stresses you out, ask, Is this truly within my control?
If not, practice letting it go—even just for a moment. That’s serenity.
2. Courage to Change the Things You Can
This is where power lives. You may not control the world, but you can change your habits, your reactions, your routine, and even your mindset.
Change doesn’t have to be big to matter. It could be going for a walk instead of doom-scrolling. Saying no to an extra obligation. Starting a journal. Creating a date night routine to reconnect with your partner.
Courage looks different for everyone. What matters is taking action—especially small, obtainable steps that build momentum over time.
3. Wisdom to Know the Difference
This might be the most important line in the whole prayer. Wisdom isn’t just knowing facts—it’s the ability to pause, reflect, and make the right call.
This takes practice. Journaling, meditation, or just taking 10 quiet minutes to breathe can help you build this “knowing” muscle. Over time, it becomes easier to sort through the noise and focus on what’s yours to own—and what’s not.
Daily reflection question: Is this something I should accept, or something I can act on?
How to Use the Serenity Prayer in Everyday Life
You don’t have to recite the prayer aloud (unless you want to). Try these ways to bring it into your daily routine:
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Morning check-in: Start the day by reading it or writing it in your journal.
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Evening reflection: Use it to process what went well and what you can release.
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Moments of overwhelm: When you feel stress building, say it silently to ground yourself.
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Sticky note strategy: Write it down and put it somewhere you’ll see—like your mirror or fridge.
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Phone wallpaper: A subtle reminder every time you check your phone.
The goal isn’t perfection—it’s presence. I like to reflect with a workout in the evenings. Read Exercise for Self Care: How a Simple Nighttime Routine Helped Me Reclaim My Peace.
Final Thoughts: Finding Your Inner Calm
The Serenity Prayer isn’t just for recovery programs. It’s for anyone navigating the highs and lows of life. When everything feels out of control, it’s a lifeline. A reminder that peace doesn’t come from fixing everything—but from focusing on the few things that truly matter.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember:
You don’t have to carry the weight of the world.
You just have to carry what’s yours.
Check out this Serenity Now journal on Amazon!