How to Manage Anxiety When Life Feels Out of Control

My partner is 20 weeks pregnant — and overwhelmed. Each day brings new worries, most of them out of her hands. From medical test results to fears about labor and parenting, it’s been tough to manage anxiety when so much feels uncertain.

That’s the hard part about anxiety: it often stems from things we can’t control. But there are real, gentle strategies that can help you manage anxiety — not by ignoring it, but by shifting your focus to what’s within your power.

Whether you’re pregnant, stressed by life, or both, this article offers realistic ways to feel more grounded, centered, and calm.

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1. Name the Anxiety to Defuse It

Saying “I feel anxious” is powerful. It separates you from the emotion and allows space between your mind and the fear. Try journaling your worries or simply saying them out loud. This mindful acknowledgment is the first step to manage anxiety effectively.

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2. Draw a “Circle of Control”

Here’s a visual trick: draw two circles.

• In the inner circle, write what you can control: your breathing, your attitude, your next step.

• In the outer circle, write what you can’t: the weather, other people’s actions, test results.

This simple exercise helps you mentally release what’s outside your influence — and focus your energy where it counts.

💡 Want extra guidance? Try a guided journal for anxiety to get started.

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3. Try 4-7-8 Breathing to Calm Your Body

Your breath is one of your greatest tools to manage anxiety. The 4-7-8 method is easy:

• Inhale for 4 seconds

• Hold for 7 seconds

• Exhale slowly for 8 seconds

Do this for 2–4 rounds whenever anxiety spikes. It activates the parasympathetic nervous system — your body’s natural calming response.

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4. Use “If-Then” Reassurance Planning

When you’re stuck in a loop of “what ifs,” try reframing them into if-then statements:

• “If I get unexpected news, then I’ll call my doctor and ask questions.”

• “If I feel overwhelmed, then I’ll step outside for 5 minutes.”

These give your mind a path forward, instead of spiraling in uncertainty.

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5. Reduce Your Information Overload

Sometimes the best way to manage anxiety is to shut off the noise. Limit the time you spend Googling symptoms, scrolling social media, or watching stressful news.

Instead, make space for calming inputs — a soothing playlist, a comfort show, or even just silence.

📱 Tip: Set your phone to “Do Not Disturb” after 8 PM to protect your peace.

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6. Ground Yourself in the Present Moment

Anxiety pulls us into the future. But grounding pulls us back to now.

Try this 5-4-3-2-1 technique:

• 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can touch

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste

It’s quick, effective, and helps break the panic loop.

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7. Lean on Someone You Trust

Don’t go it alone. Whether it’s a partner, a friend, a doula, or a therapist — talking to someone can lighten the load.

When my girlfriend says, “I don’t know how to feel better,” I’ve learned that just listening — without fixing — can help her manage anxiety more than any advice.

If you don’t have a support system yet, consider joining a local or online pregnancy support group. Even knowing others feel the same can be healing.

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Final Thoughts: Give Yourself Permission to Breathe

Managing anxiety isn’t about becoming fearless — it’s about staying grounded when fear shows up.

If you’re pregnant or simply overwhelmed by life’s unknowns, know this: you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You’re navigating a season of life where learning to manage anxiety is an act of strength, not weakness.

One breath at a time, one choice at a time — you’ve got this. For more gentle strategies, check out Why Small Obtainable Goals Matter to build confidence through action.